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I'm sure there are plenty of Asian and Asian-American men who do not adhere to patriarchal beliefs, but there's no denying the inherent values embedded within certain cultures that may shape a woman's preferences.

There's another prospect to consider: Asian men in Western media have the unfortunate tendency to be depicted as being nerdy, feminine, comical, and shy.

That, or kung-fu masters which I find hot, but perpetuates an annoying stereotype. Older men are portrayed as being conservative and patriarchal.

They are often desexualized and portrayed as not belonging in America. Although it's changing, there simply aren't very many positive representations of Asian men in Western culture, and this negative image may very well affect the perceptions of Asian women living in the West.

I've only ever dated one Asian man, and we were teenagers at the time — but it's certainly not because I find Asian men undesirable, or that I felt controlled by men.

However, my trend of dating Western men had a lot more to do with the culture around my personal interests. Growing up in Taiwan, most of my Asian peers were much more engrossed in their studies and into mainstream culture than going to punk concerts, watching experimental film, and dressing up like Marie Antoinette.

Today, my interests are much more broad, but the long-term relationships I've held in the past decade of my life has precluded further investigation.

What have your experiences of interracial dating been? As an Asian woman, have you ever felt a man was attracted to you for their Asian fantasy?

Or, have you ever suffered from the stigma of being an Asiaphile for dating an Asian man or woman? Please share your thoughts.

This post originally appeared on Not Your China Girl. Republished with permission. Want to see your work here? She believes that Western men are more accepting of this, yet conversely are thought to have poorer family values.

Still, Julia describes the high pressure in Asian societies for women to start families at younger ages than in the West. She proudly states that her female clients are "flexible" and "want to work together as a family unit" -- but she's quick to note that they're "picky" and have high expectations.

To them, marriage must be a two-sided contract. A wife gives face to her husband in public, but in honoring his end in private, he must put family first not himself , cater to her in-laws and, as is traditional in countries like China and Japan, hand over control of the bank accounts to her.

The myth that Asian women are more submissive rings true for those who have never actually dated an Asian woman. Take for example Steven, the main character of " Seeking Asian Female ", who saw images of Vietnamese women in films like The Scent of Green Papaya and wondered, would his future wife be an "idyllic servant girl who would cook these beautiful meals?

At the end of his year search, he found Sandy, from Anhui, China, who was half his age. For Steven, the real-life experience of Sandy's emotional, controlling and fiery temperament was still quite biting.

Many Asian women think so. According to Jenny, who moved to the U. They're not very masculine. Some Asian women do believe this myth to be true, but similar to Myth No.

Julia Ma cautions, "Girls living in another country, they have no idea -- they think here is heaven, people with money, but it's nothing like that.

Though the concept dates back centuries, dating Asian women, or, more accurately, the idea of dating Asian women, has officially gone mainstream.

While I spoke to a lot of aging white men, I also spoke with young hipsters, black men and Latinos who desire Asian women. I heard from Asian, Asian-American and many other women about their encounters with this so-called "yellow fever.

Throughout all this, a common thread emerged: myths and misconceptions about Asian women are as strongly held as ever.

Understanding the difference between fantasy and reality made all the difference for these people and the true stories they shared.

Myth No. They have good family values and cater to the man. Around BCE, Confucius outlined relationships in which wives looked up to their husbands in perfect harmony.

Times have changed, but the myth that Asian women make doting and dutiful wives still persists. Julia Ma, owner and matchmaker of Your Asian Connection, says men who join her club are seeking "the old picture of Asian women -- traditional, take care of husband, cook dinner, clean house.

Her female clients are educated, often tech-savvy and, like her, many have been divorced. She believes that Western men are more accepting of this, yet conversely are thought to have poorer family values.

Still, Julia describes the high pressure in Asian societies for women to start families at younger ages than in the West. She proudly states that her female clients are "flexible" and "want to work together as a family unit" -- but she's quick to note that they're "picky" and have high expectations.

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The sex industry catering to Westerners is constructed around selling not only the flesh, but what Sheridan Prasso calls the "Asian Mystique It's true that independence and power is valued more highly in Western women, whereas Eastern values traditionally emphasize community and social harmony, and are unfortunately more patriarchal.

This may influence the behavioral traits of some Asian women. However, men sometimes take this to feel "remasculated" in their interactions and perceptions of Asian women because they can experience feelings of dominance, power, and wealth real or imagined — especially in Asia, where some women cater to these fantasies for personal gain, or associate with Western men as a status symbol.

There's fantasy built into the idea of dating a Westerner, too, which makes them appealing to Asian women; the stigma goes both ways. On the other hand, there's also a common notion among more affluent Asian women that the only men who hang around chasing women in Asia are just "creepy losers" that can't find a girl back home.

I know, it sounds terrible, doesn't it? While we all know that the "Creepy White Dude" does exist, these notions feed dehumanizing stereotypes that prevent mutual respect, and taint those interracial relationships founded on mutual love and respect due to judgment passed by others.

The fact is, each person is attracted to certain characteristics in a prospective mate, whether they are physical, cultural, or behavioral.

Who's to say the attraction is based only on fantasy? A bit of fantasy can be beneficial in relationships. It's unfair to pass judgment on a person for race and culture-related characteristics they find desirable based on the color of their skin.

As I mentioned before, a stigma exists toward Asian women who date Western men, which also casts interracial dating in a poor light.

They are condemned as being social climbers, materialistic, and superficial. However, that, too, is a stereotype, and some of the reasons Asian women prefer to date Western men extend beyond perceived social status or physical attraction.

Sexism has, in fact, been an integral part of Asian society since its origin, and is still prevalent in Asian societies.

Asian women may prefer pairing with Western men because they feel like they are treated more as an equal, and enjoy greater independence in a relationship.

I heard from Asian, Asian-American and many other women about their encounters with this so-called "yellow fever. Throughout all this, a common thread emerged: myths and misconceptions about Asian women are as strongly held as ever.

Understanding the difference between fantasy and reality made all the difference for these people and the true stories they shared.

Myth No. They have good family values and cater to the man. Around BCE, Confucius outlined relationships in which wives looked up to their husbands in perfect harmony.

Times have changed, but the myth that Asian women make doting and dutiful wives still persists. Julia Ma, owner and matchmaker of Your Asian Connection, says men who join her club are seeking "the old picture of Asian women -- traditional, take care of husband, cook dinner, clean house.

Her female clients are educated, often tech-savvy and, like her, many have been divorced. She believes that Western men are more accepting of this, yet conversely are thought to have poorer family values.

Still, Julia describes the high pressure in Asian societies for women to start families at younger ages than in the West. She proudly states that her female clients are "flexible" and "want to work together as a family unit" -- but she's quick to note that they're "picky" and have high expectations.

To them, marriage must be a two-sided contract. A wife gives face to her husband in public, but in honoring his end in private, he must put family first not himself , cater to her in-laws and, as is traditional in countries like China and Japan, hand over control of the bank accounts to her.

Some Asian women do believe this myth to be true, but similar to Myth No. Julia Ma cautions, "Girls living in another country, they have no idea -- they think here is heaven, people with money, but it's nothing like that.

But sometimes Asian women "think they are marrying a 'more liberal' Western man," only to find out he's actually looking for a traditional Asian woman, explains journalist, Sheridan Prasso who studied this in her book, The Asian Mystique, Dragon Ladies, Geisha Girls and Our Fantasies of the Exotic Orient.

These women "know what they need to survive and to help their extended family. They saw an opportunity in that Asian fetish," then marry Western men "who wake up to find themselves among 20 of her relatives and he's totally outnumbered.

In our interviews, we heard these sorts of comments frequently: "Asian women are better lovers. Compared to other fetishes on the internet, such as leather, shoe or redheads, "Asian women are fetishized more than any other fetish," says Prasso.

The harder truth is, the Asian sex and trafficking trade remains one of the largest and most lucrative in the world, making Myth No.

If you pay for it, sex with Asian women is "easy. The racist myth that "all Orientals look the same" was debunked long ago, but it bears reminding all Asian women are not the same either.

By grounding our relationships in reality we get past our expectations and truly get to know each other as individuals -- we can't debunk all the myths, but it's a start.

She teamed up with actor and media strategist Maikiko James to create "They're All So Beautiful," an online video series and discussion about interracial dating, Asian fetish and much more.

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